Burning flowers

Recent pictures. Model: Tiffany and Tabitha

I'm sorry viewers. I've been pretty busy with school lately and haven't gotten a chance to update my blog. but here's an update with some recent pictures i took last week. Enjoy!

 

Photo of the Week

Police Brutality

"I'll smack you, you nigger", the police hollered as he was walking to the black mans window. thinking he was all that with those sticks where we probably beat all whole bunch of other black men and women. as if he was trained about how to use the stick; "once you see a black man, beat him". he asked me to pull my window down. then punched me again and again in my face. he punched me so hard, my face was pushed in. he then grabbed me out my cheap car and then that's when they all attacked me. i can taste the floor with the rain of the ocean of the day before. i was in the hospital for ten years. after, he remained a target like a red blanket on a bull. i was out to murder that white sucka. 

Dead or Alive

if I'm dead, um...i don't know. life after death? but if you're dead in another world, aren't you alive? that's so funny when i think about it. reminds me of that biggie song, Suicidal Thoughts. "When i die fuck it i wanna go to hell, 'cause ima piece 'a shit it; it ain't hard to fucking tell..." honestly, i dont know what to believe anymore with heaven and hell. i hate the way directors make the devil look in movies. with horns, all red and ugly. people, Lucifer (according to the bible), was the most beautiful angel in heaven; he was also God's right hand man. people can literally go all day long debating on religion because truly religion doesnt have an answer to anything. everything just stays neutral. esp. our minds. i feel like society has blind folded out minds, making us only capturing what they want us to see. but really thinking about it all, everyone is close-minded till a certain extent. why doesnt jesus come down and say, "ha, there's cameras in every angle of your life and i just fooled you suckaaa. you are on the reality show of Francheska." as if. what makes an individual, an individual? we all shit, fart, pee, burp and do normal things like one another. what?, features; personality? like, why go to school?, to be someone? what they're born already to do it. like a natural talent. i hate the fact that colleges look at grades and say "he/she isn't qualified". to me, grades doesnt speak about a person. people arent good test takers or writing essays etc. everything about this life is BS. we live to die. what kin of shit is that? what if were dead and were living in the aftermath of our death in our previous world? imagine? "....it makes no sense going to sense goin'a heaven with the goodies goodies. dressed in white; i like black tims and black hoodies..."

Photo's of the Week Models: Tiffany Arce & Kerstina Wilson

                                                                                                                                               

Words of a Night

the world is still, the wind whistles. i breathe, the earth shakes. every move i make is a leaf falling; with it's bare naked and the bark cries. cant you hear it? shut your brain off and think. let your ears lead you. follow the circle of leaves twirling. i can hear the earth shake. its a beautiful sound. everyone's sleeping at this hour of time. it smells like cold. that scent that distinguishes between the connection of the seasons. fancy, smanshy. gloves, scarfs, jackets, coats, stockings, hats, mittens, earpuffs, leggings, tights, blankets, quilts, hot chocolate, cuddle, movie nights, popcorn, sweet love, kisses, jealousy, obsession, killer, murderer, jail, depression, pills, life, roller-coaster, halloween, ghost stories, cemmentary, my great grandmother (RIP, I MISS YOU), goodness, optimistic, friends, sunny days, summer gone, chills and mittens again, warmth, still and darkness with eyes closed. now open your eyes.  

Dreams

i don't understand how dreams work sometimes. they're this weird image in the back of my head trying to escape my thoughts. sometimes it's a exciting feeling to fall asleep knowing that you'll be sleeping for a certain amount of hours after a hard day of school or work. how about the ones that are so deep and sweet; like you're falling off a step, stairs or tripping over something and you wake up startled from the fall you were about to make, to only find out that you were asleep for 5-10 minutes. but, it felt like more than an hour. ah, those are great. sometimes i just don't want to wake up from a dream. why would i want to wake up from a dream to a nightmare? life is a nightmare with a whole bunch of groin rocks hitting you. like you're trying to run away from obstacles, running from grief, running from sadness, running from depression, sickness, mental issues, personal issues, life itself and just trying to escape. trying to escape really, really far away. the only times that everything seems to be funny or rememberable is when I'm high. i think so much better, grasping every inch of detail. its just like a dream except, i control it. i can build a skyscraper, fight a ninja, float on a cloud, make an invention and fall sound asleep into another dream. i hate having a nightmare though. feeling that numbness all over your body wanting to wake yourself up from that nightmare, but you cant. "wake up Che, wake up". its like your trapped within yourself. being high, is nothing like that because i control my high. at first my high use too control me, but after this summer of smoking more than what i usually do, i control it now. i sleep with a night light. I'm afraid of the dark. i remember this summer i couldn't sleep without my light off in my room because my night light needed a new light. that light was so irritating. i just ended up staying up all night. id wait until the sun would rise with light in the sky and the moon will fall with the stars behind it, hiding and saving it for another night. id get up turn off my light and fall sound asleep. it was a real bad sleeping habit of the summer. a dream in a dream, wake up Che.

Photo of the Week

This image was more of a moment thing. it was taken in the summer. i was having one of my picnic in the north side and this couple whom were getting married were going to take pictures. she didn't want to get her dress dirty and he literally picked her up and took her all the way to the other side of the field. everyone clapped for them and this image made my day. i feel lucky to have captured this moment! 

last week's Photo's of the Week Model: Tiffany Alicea

Reality

Today while taking the bus to my internship, there was this guy getting on the bus. he was blind. as he got on, he told the bus bus driver where he was headed too. after that, he was feeling his way around the first handicap seat (which was the seat i was sitting on). he felt on my leg for his seat and then apologized. he then sat right next to me. after that, i started thinking about how he got around with just hearing and touching. i cant imagine how life would be if i was blind. a few minutes later after brainstorming, i closed my eyes to see what the man saw. he saw nothing and heard life. its like his ears are his eyes and his hands are his ears. i only closed my eyes for approximately thirty seconds or less and felt as is i was alone in the world. i felt so depressed and all types of gloomy emotions for just those thirty seconds or less. i honestly thank god that ALL my senses work. for i can see life, touch life, smell life, taste life and hear life.